I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You're a waste of cheezeits
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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