This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
