so that wasnt chicken after all
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
