When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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