i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Is it penis luge time yet?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
