He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
