There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
