Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
