i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?