ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.