HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
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Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
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I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.