i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED