I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
my poor anus
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.