The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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