i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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