the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
