what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
