And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't deserve a penis
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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