around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
