You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize