If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
