You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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