I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
