I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
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And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
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What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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