were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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