It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
