You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize