yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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