You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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