Whod you bang
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Hippo gnu deer
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
