I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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