I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
