My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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