He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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