naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
