Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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