I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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