apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
