so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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