It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
