i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
