Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
