I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
