I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
