she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize