She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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