honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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