If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
