You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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