His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize