go do what you do best...puke behind churches
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
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