i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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