My friends, they love my intelligence
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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