So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
