If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Randomize
