I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
even my farts smell like vagina
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
