It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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