doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
