got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
