sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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