Define "chronic" masturbator.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
