Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
