i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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