I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
