i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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