New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
