I CAN MOONWALK!
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
